Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
