Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
