Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
