my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
