I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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