Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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