Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
