Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize