I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
