"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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