its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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