It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
