That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
