Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
