Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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