Please, let me fuck your mom
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
