Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
