sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
