i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we're making bets on your personal life
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
