i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
