so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
