the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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