the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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