Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize