so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
