I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
