He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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