I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
