Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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