then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
