They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
