I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
