you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
