Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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