Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
