I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
