it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
