I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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