thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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