dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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