Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
