sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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