I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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