I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
