take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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