Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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