My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
