At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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