Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
