and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
