normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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