I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your penis caused this!
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