He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
