so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
