I wanna bring you to show and tell
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
