Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i will never coherently bang her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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