I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
