I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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