This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i believe in u and ur pee
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
