he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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