just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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