Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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