i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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