considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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