Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
where are you?
Hypothermia
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
