Me too!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
